The most profound changes to result from a divorce are often experienced by the children. In Minnesota courts, a judge may acknowledge this during litigation and provide a special lawyer for the children who is focused on only on their best interests. However, a divorcing couple is best positioned to smooth the transition for their children.
Many realities of divorce cannot be avoided, but it is worth making the effort to stop fighting. The marriage may have ended poorly with blame from both sides. Visitation rights and custody disputes may be ongoing. However, research shows that continuing and escalating fights are the worst for the emotional well-being of children. The conflicts increase their feelings of insecurity and can make them feel as though they must choose sides.
Working out a parenting plan that includes custody and visitation provisions is one way to reduce the risk of fights. Another step is to identify the method of communication least likely to incite an emotional escalation. Compartmentalizing divorce and custody dispute details can also help save children from the turmoil of explaining a parent’s actions and mediating their arguments.
Custody is often the most contentious dispute during a divorce, and it is one of the few issues that can be brought up many more times in the future of a divorced couple. Parents need to be able to relax around their children and keep them safe from conflicts. Family law attorneys will remind their clients that the ultimate goal is to reach an accord that is in the best interests of their children and that they should look at the issue as a battle to be won or lost.