Divorce discussions and why timing and delivery are critical

On Behalf of | May 29, 2015 | Divorce Mediation

Marriages end for all sorts of reasons and sometimes for seemingly no reason at all. The relationship between spouses is complicated and often filled with both high and low points. In cases where a marriage is marred by cheating, substance abuse, financial troubles and diverging life goals; divorce may be the best option.

Even in cases where it’s clear to one spouse that divorce is the only option, sharing one’s wishes and plans with an unsuspecting spouse can be difficult. This is often especially true in cases where one spouse doesn’t want to divorce or a married couple has minor-aged children.

While there’s likely never going to be a good time break the bad news to a spouse, there are definitely times to avoid breaking such news. Say for example that a spouse is dealing with the sickness or death of a close relative or friend or learns that he or she has been laid off. While, regardless of the circumstances, an unsuspecting spouse is likely to be upset, delivering news of a divorce when he or she is already going through a difficult time will likely only compound matters and set a negative tone for the entire divorce process.

In addition to planning when to break news of a divorce to a spouse, it’s important to plan how to deliver such news. If an individual’s delivery includes negative and hurtful words, a spouse is more likely to become combative and contentious. It’s often best, therefore, to be kind yet firm when telling a spouse of one’s plans to file for divorce.

Even in cases where an individual feels a lot of anger and resentment towards a spouse, in the long run, giving in to and acting on those emotions can backfire. In divorces involving minor-aged children; decisions related to child custody, visitation and support must be negotiated and agreed upon. What’s more, post-divorce, parents must be able to effectively communicate and co-parent.

Minneapolis residents who are planning to file for divorce would be wise to discuss their situation with a divorce attorney prior to breaking the news to a spouse. An attorney can provide advice and help position an individual for post-divorce success.

Source: The Huffington Post, “The Best Way to Ask Your Spouse for a Divorce,” Cheryl and Joe Dillon, May 22, 2015